don't make me choose.because it will be him.it's always been him

first i wanted to share my wish list with you. i thought it over and found out - i have none.

secondly i decided it would be nice to tell you something about my amazing day. i thought it over and found out - this day is a mess.

then again i deliberated whether you'd be interested in my feelings today. i thought it over and found out - i don't feel pretty much, but extremely depressed.

so what am i to do now? coin some wishes that won't come true anyways, explain why everything went wrong today (not that i'm not used to it already) or give you all the heebie-jeebies while moaning about my disturbed self. i came to the conclusion not to tell you anything about me, but about "new moon". needless to say that is more interesting in any case.

so what did you think about the movie? to speak for myself, i found it kinda disappointing. edward actually reacted like a suicidal retard all the time, jacob seemed to be nothing but pretty impulsive and aggressive, bella just kept on sitting above the window and cried - not quit the most fascinating thing ever. and than all this groaning while kissing. what was that little vampire? the love story itself was pretty nice, i guess. everybody wants to die for everybody and everybody is loved. even poor jacob. and edward seems to be very lucky hearing his girlfriend telling omg-fuckin'-hot jacob "i love you.", too. i mean, here we go again. why just love one very emotional, cold and depressed vampire when you can have not only this one but another hard, hot and aggressive werewolf. fits, don't you agree? all in all the whole story is not that new invention (aside from the fact that there are wolves and vampires) - we all know whats happening here: first love, you want to marry him, want to be with him all the time and think you aren't worth him anyways until he leaves you because he found out thats true. than of course you keep crying all day and night and want him back so badly, it's not even funny. after that time of totally being a creep, you find somebody new and attractive who does his best to get you back in life. you start liking him and being as in love as before - just 'till the moment your first asshole decides to come back into your life. hello again, to quote diana :)! which girl wouldn't say this remarkable sentence "it will be him. it's always been him.". i mean, not that he didn't hurt you to death, not that you thought you couldn't ever love again and not that your heart was nothing but a deformed stone. yes indeed. first asshole did a good job here. but who the hell cares?

come back vampire, take the rest of me. take everything you want!

N.